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Racist jokes

vending machine
What's the difference between a Jew and a vending machine?

Vending machines give you your change back.
beaten up
A black guy accused a white guy for beating him up. Why did the police believe him? Because he had a swollen lip and a black eye.
Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican? They take all the green cards.
allergic to blacks
What is it called when you are allergic to blacks? Black-tose intolerant.
german mexican
hat do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
A Beaner-Schnitzel
prison break
A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
A Prison Break.
Casper had no cgi they used a white
the blacks
A black guy is a monkey and 2018 planet of the apes
Why do black girls have bigger butts then white girls ? Cuz they hold the shit in.....
very bonnie tyler
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”
btw not a joke just a fact!
And you calling me colored??

When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.

And you white people.
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey…

And you calling me colored??
the big bang
What came before the Big Bang?

Allahu Ahkbaru.
full train
How do you get 6000 jews out of a train?

You stop at auswich.
the old chinese man and the nigger
An old Chinese man was standing at the edge of a lake and was skipping stones on it. Each time he threw a stone it would go, CHING-FLING-ZING. A nigger walked up to him and asked (AXED) him what he was doing. The old Chinese man said, "I skip stones on surface of lake because it tells me my ancestry...see?" So the Old Chinese man threw another stone towards the surface of the lake and it again went CHING-FLING-ZING. The old Chinese man said, my brother's name was CHING, my sister in law's name was FLING and my mother in law's name was ZING. The nigger said he wanted to try it and find out his ancestry, so the Chinese man gave him a stone and the nigger threw it at the lake. As his stone skipped on the surface it went CHIM-PAN-ZEE!
the flintstones
What would you call the flintstones if they were black?
Why are there no black people playing baseball ? Cuz they keep stealing the bases
m street
What can a mexican do that a white man cant ? clean street.....
sun cream
why are white people white cuz they use sun cream
What did black people and gladiators have in common thry bouth ware slaves
The Scientists are trying to make an invisible cloth but the black people beat us to it but weit they have that power over night
Who are the real ninjas ? The black people you cant see them in the nigh or hear them
cross border
Whad did the Mexican say to the oder mexican ? Wnat to go cross border
Did you know that jews blow candles on there birthday but they dont buy them they go to church to blow them
latina hot
A white guy married a hot latin chick, and ever since they're all she wants all the time is s*x, more and more s*x.
At some point the guy goes to his friend to ask what to do, the friend says "Tell her from now on if you want some you gonna pay.
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
The guy comes home and takes of his shirt, his wife jumps on him and he tells her "Hey! from now on you want some you pay for it!
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
So the girl says "O.K. Here's 30 bucks", the guy says "In the bedroom?" the girls says "No! 3 times on the floor!"
reverse time
How to tell if the time is geting reversed ? Look out of the window and if you see a jew putting a coin on the ground then your correct
Whats the diference between a nigga and a nickel ? The nickel is worth something
Why Beyonce sings "to the left, to the left"? Because niggers have no rights!
hank hill
What's the same about jews and Hank Hill. They both like gas.
How many niggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero, because they will steal the lightbulb.
monkey brains
Why do Chinese people eat monkey brains and niggers don't? Because niggers aren't cannibals.
What's the difference between a nigger and a retarded person? The retard has higher IQ.
How do you call a fat guy eating bacon? A cannibal.
Why is it allowed for women to be a pilot in Saudi Arabia but prohibited to drive? Because driving into a tower at full speed wouldn't make the same effect.
How does a black woman aborts the unwanted child? She flushes the toilet.
screwed up penis
Bob walked into the restroom at a restaurant and saw a guy standing in front of a urinal.The guy at the urinal asked bob if he could unzip his pants for him and bob being the nice guy he is did so and then the guy asked bob if he could pull it out bob did and notice that the guys penis had warts and scratches all over it the guy then asked bob to aim it and put it back in and zip it up when they were done bob said to the guy what the hells wrong with your penis the guy pulled both his arms out of his top and said i dunno but I ain't touching it
white man in court
What do you call a white man in court?
The lawyer.
Why are black people so good at basketball?

Because all they have to do is run, shoot, and steal
What do you call a white person playin with gasoline? A firecracker.
empire state building
A nigger and a spic jump off the empire state building. Who hits the ground first? The spic, cause the nigger had to stop on the way down and spraypaint mothafucka on the wall.
black joke1
Q:what do you call a black man with an Afro?
black moms be like
Mom:Hey billy wath dis ass twerk
Billy:Mommy you scaring me ;c
Mom:WE AINT GO NAH WORRIES *Twerks really hard*
Whats black and yellow and fun to watch?

A school bus full of black kids driving off a cliff
Why do black people only have nightmares?
- Because we killed the only one that had a dream.
Why are pills white?
- Because they work.
How do you call a falling star?

A jew!!
flattest surface
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?

A white girl's ass.
white guy black room
How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they lynch the room for being black.
circumcise a hillbilly
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.
white man dancing
What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure? An improvement.
redneck police cases
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.
More funny racist jokes coming!