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Racist Jokes
black and yellow
What’s yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
4 Points
3 Comments
karate and judo
What’s the difference between karate and judo? Karate is a method of self defence and judo is what bagels are made of!
baby gone wrong
Two black people have an Asian baby. They name him Sum Ting Wong
i forgive you
What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him?
I forgive you
I forgive you
hah
What do you call it when a white man marries the woman of his dreams? Incest
cant screw
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
None, white girls can’t screw.
None, white girls can’t screw.
jews in a car
How do you get 100 Jews in a car 5 in the back 3 in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
How do you get them out? Tell them Hitlers driving.
How do you get them out? Tell them Hitlers driving.
disturbed
A white guy doesn’t want to be disturbed. Unless Disturbed comes out with a new album.
white joke
What does a white man do when he is unhappy with current government decisions?
He writes a letter.
He writes a letter.
the roof
on the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn. The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and then throws the white guy off the roof.
white girls
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light?
None, white girls can’t screw.
None, white girls can’t screw.
white mexican black joke
Q:what do u call a load of white people running down a hill
A:avalanche
Q:what do u call a load of Mexicans running down a hill
A:mud slide
Q:what do u call a load of black people running down a hill
A: prison break
A:avalanche
Q:what do u call a load of Mexicans running down a hill
A:mud slide
Q:what do u call a load of black people running down a hill
A: prison break
niggers playing rpg
Why do you never play RPGMMO games with a nigger? Because he Will robe your gold and items
redneck police cases
Why are redneck murder cases the hardest to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there are no dental records.
white man dancing
What do you call it when a white man dancing has a seizure? An improvement.
circumcise a hillbilly
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Kick his sister in the jaw.
white guy black room
How many white people does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they lynch the room for being black.
None, they lynch the room for being black.
flattest surface
What's the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl's ass.
A white girl's ass.
nightmares
Why do black people only have nightmares?
- Because we killed the only one that had a dream.
- Because we killed the only one that had a dream.
nigerians
Whats black and yellow and fun to watch?
A school bus full of black kids driving off a cliff
A school bus full of black kids driving off a cliff
black moms be like
Mom:Hey billy wath dis ass twerk
Billy:Mommy you scaring me ;c
Mom:WE AINT GO NAH WORRIES *Twerks really hard*
Billy:Mommy you scaring me ;c
Mom:WE AINT GO NAH WORRIES *Twerks really hard*
empire state building
A nigger and a spic jump off the empire state building. Who hits the ground first? The spic, cause the nigger had to stop on the way down and spraypaint mothafucka on the wall.
firecracker
What do you call a white person playin with gasoline? A firecracker.
basketball
Why are black people so good at basketball?
Because all they have to do is run, shoot, and steal
Because all they have to do is run, shoot, and steal
screwed up penis
Bob walked into the restroom at a restaurant and saw a guy standing in front of a urinal.The guy at the urinal asked bob if he could unzip his pants for him and bob being the nice guy he is did so and then the guy asked bob if he could pull it out bob did and notice that the guys penis had warts and scratches all over it the guy then asked bob to aim it and put it back in and zip it up when they were done bob said to the guy what the hells wrong with your penis the guy pulled both his arms out of his top and said i dunno but I ain't touching it
toilet
How does a black woman aborts the unwanted child? She flushes the toilet.
driving
Why is it allowed for women to be a pilot in Saudi Arabia but prohibited to drive? Because driving into a tower at full speed wouldn't make the same effect.
retard
What's the difference between a nigger and a retarded person? The retard has higher IQ.
monkey brains
Why do Chinese people eat monkey brains and niggers don't? Because niggers aren't cannibals.
lightbulb
How many niggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Zero, because they will steal the lightbulb.
Zero, because they will steal the lightbulb.
beyonce
Why Beyonce sings "to the left, to the left"? Because niggers have no rights!
nickel
Whats the diference between a nigga and a nickel ? The nickel is worth something
reverse time
How to tell if the time is geting reversed ? Look out of the window and if you see a jew putting a coin on the ground then your correct
latina hot
A white guy married a hot latin chick, and ever since they're all she wants all the time is s*x, more and more s*x.
At some point the guy goes to his friend to ask what to do, the friend says "Tell her from now on if you want some you gonna pay.
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
The guy comes home and takes of his shirt, his wife jumps on him and he tells her "Hey! from now on you want some you pay for it!
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
So the girl says "O.K. Here's 30 bucks", the guy says "In the bedroom?" the girls says "No! 3 times on the floor!"
At some point the guy goes to his friend to ask what to do, the friend says "Tell her from now on if you want some you gonna pay.
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
The guy comes home and takes of his shirt, his wife jumps on him and he tells her "Hey! from now on you want some you pay for it!
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
So the girl says "O.K. Here's 30 bucks", the guy says "In the bedroom?" the girls says "No! 3 times on the floor!"
candles
Did you know that jews blow candles on there birthday but they dont buy them they go to church to blow them
cross border
Whad did the Mexican say to the oder mexican ? Wnat to go cross border
ninja
Who are the real ninjas ? The black people you cant see them in the nigh or hear them
scientists
The Scientists are trying to make an invisible cloth but the black people beat us to it but weit they have that power over night
slaves
What did black people and gladiators have in common thry bouth ware slaves
baseball
Why are there no black people playing baseball ? Cuz they keep stealing the bases
the old chinese man and the nigger
An old Chinese man was standing at the edge of a lake and was skipping stones on it. Each time he threw a stone it would go, CHING-FLING-ZING. A nigger walked up to him and asked (AXED) him what he was doing. The old Chinese man said, "I skip stones on surface of lake because it tells me my ancestry...see?" So the Old Chinese man threw another stone towards the surface of the lake and it again went CHING-FLING-ZING. The old Chinese man said, my brother's name was CHING, my sister in law's name was FLING and my mother in law's name was ZING. The nigger said he wanted to try it and find out his ancestry, so the Chinese man gave him a stone and the nigger threw it at the lake. As his stone skipped on the surface it went CHIM-PAN-ZEE!
btw not a joke just a fact!
And you calling me colored??
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
And you white people.
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey…
And you calling me colored??
When I born, I black.
When I grow up, I black.
When I go in sun, I black.
When I scared, I black.
When I sick, I black.
And when I die, I still black.
And you white people.
When you born, you pink.
When you grow up, you white.
When you go in sun, you red.
When you cold, you blue.
When you scared, you yellow.
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey…
And you calling me colored??
very bonnie tyler
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”
The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”
In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”
The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”
In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”
The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”
butt
Why do black girls have bigger butts then white girls ? Cuz they hold the shit in.....
prison break
A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
A Prison Break.
A Prison Break.
german mexican
hat do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
A Beaner-Schnitzel
A Beaner-Schnitzel
allergic to blacks
What is it called when you are allergic to blacks? Black-tose intolerant.
uno
Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican? They take all the green cards.
beaten up
A black guy accused a white guy for beating him up. Why did the police believe him? Because he had a swollen lip and a black eye.
vending machine
What's the difference between a Jew and a vending machine?
Vending machines give you your change back.
Vending machines give you your change back.
uno dos tres
Why don't mexicans cross the border in 3's?
Because it says no trespassing
Because it says no trespassing
the alamo
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
amazons
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
the white mexican
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"
fruit of choice
Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, "The Mexican picked a watermelon."
we have so many
An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.
The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.
The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.
The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
the drunk mexican
I was bartending in Vegas and this drunk mexican asks me for a shot of tequila and a beer. He was hurting so bad with a hangover..he then asks me for another. I said "You got money? He told me no, but he is hurting so bad that he will do anything for another round.... I looked at him and told him..if you could use these three colors in a sentence, I'll buy you a round...Green Pink and Yellow. The drunk mexican looks at me, thinks for a second, and tells me.."I got it senor, I got it...The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and I said Yellow?" I bought him a round...
mexican uno
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.
white martin luther king
What would martin luther king be if he was white? Alive.
mexican jesus
A new scientific study reveals that Jesus was actually a Mexican:
- he was born in a barn
- he walked around always wearing flip-flops
- if he ever did anything, it was a miracle
- he was born in a barn
- he walked around always wearing flip-flops
- if he ever did anything, it was a miracle
high heels
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
its chilly outside
Yo mama so dumb she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
beeper
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
mexican olympic team
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
Because everyone who can run, swim, or jump is already in America.
Because everyone who can run, swim, or jump is already in America.
black gynecologists
Q: Why do niggers make better gynecologists?
A: Because they're already used to big lips, kinky hair, and bad breath.
A: Because they're already used to big lips, kinky hair, and bad breath.
african and parot
One black guy walked into a bar with a parot the bar tender said wow how wonderful where did you get it from witch the parot replied africa
how to get jewish girls number
Q:How do you get jewish girls number?
A:Look under their arm
A:Look under their arm
inbreeding white folk
Why Can't White People Jump ?
Inbreeding Weakens The Knees !
Inbreeding Weakens The Knees !
why are women soldiers better than men?
because they can bleed for a week and not die
9111
new yorkers are the fastest readers in the world they went through 110 stories in 10 minuets
gods saying
What did god say when he met the first black person ??
Oh man I burned one
Oh man I burned one
floating refrigerator
What do you say if you see a refrigerator floating down the treet at night?
Drop it nigger!
Drop it nigger!
floating refrigerator1
What do you say if you see a refrigerator floating down the treet at night?
Drop it nigger!
Drop it nigger!
floating refrigerator1
What do you say if you see a refrigerator floating down the treet at night?
Drop it nigger!
Drop it nigger!
blacks on a hill
What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill?
A mudslide!
A mudslide!
white people running down a hill.
What are white people running down a hill? AVALANCHE!!!
tv.
You wake up in the middle of the night and your tv is flowing what do you say? NIGGA PUT MY TV DOWN!):3
chicken crossing.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his friend said BEN PACA!!!!
por quhhhhyyyyy
Black jokes and Mexican jokes are about the same. Once you heard Juan , you heard Jamal
nigger hide and seek
how do black people win in hide and seek? they turn off the lights and they win
country music
Why dont black people like country music?
When they say "hoe down" they think their sister is dead
When they say "hoe down" they think their sister is dead
robber
Why do most robberies happen at night?
Niggers blend in with the darkness.
Niggers blend in with the darkness.
oreo cookie
What do you call a white girl in the middle of two black boys?
An OREO cookie.
An OREO cookie.
how is a apple and a nigger the same
How is a apple and a nigger the same?
They both hang on trees
They both hang on trees
i wish
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
acronyms
Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
Brunette: "I don’t know."
Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!"
i cant see
Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
the effort
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away. The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died. The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died. The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
misunderstanding
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
sexy air
Q: Why is air a lot like sex?
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
so right
What's the difference between a nigger and an elevator? One can raise a child!
how to impress a girl
asked the trainer at the gym:
what machine should I use to impress that girl over there?
he looked at me and answered:
probably the ATM at the lobby
what machine should I use to impress that girl over there?
he looked at me and answered:
probably the ATM at the lobby
stevie wonder1
man says to Stevie Wonder "what's it like being blind?
Stevie Wonder says " it's bad but it could be worse...I could be black"
Stevie Wonder says " it's bad but it could be worse...I could be black"
and its children neither
What's the difference between Angelina Jolie and a slave nigger? Slave nigger never saw bread in pit.
loan from jew father
Jewish Kid: Hey dad can I borrow 40 bucks?
Jewish Dad: 30 Bucks?!?! Whaddya need 20 Bucks for?!?!?
Jewish Dad: 30 Bucks?!?! Whaddya need 20 Bucks for?!?!?
judo
What's the difference between Karate and Judo? One is used for self defense, the other is used to make bagels!
black woman
How long does it take black woman to take a shit for nine months?
After people smell her shit, people come up to her face, they say "Euuu" "You ugly black bitch"
After people smell her shit, people come up to her face, they say "Euuu" "You ugly black bitch"
pizza
Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.
Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.
science of black
What's the difference between a nigger and a piece of dog shit. Eventually dog shit will turn white and the smell will go away
auto correct
Yo mama so mean I added her name in a text and it auto corrected to bitch.
simon cowell
Yo mamma so mean even Simon Cowell is afraid to say anything bad about her.
the anti smell
Yo Mama So smelly She Make Right Guard Turn Left, Secret Tell It All, And Speed Stick Slow Down!
third world cheese
Yo mama so stank third world countries eat the cheese from the crack of her ass
black jew1
What`s the worst part of being a black jew?
You have to sit in the back of the oven.
You have to sit in the back of the oven.
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