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jew jokes

If Hitler came back from the dead and walked into a halacoust museum ,would he be like ahhh!! The good ole days
What did Hitler get Ann frank for x-mas ? A easy bake oven
hitler gas bill
What did Hitler say when he saw his gas bill?

A holla-Cost
Q: how do you get a Jewish girls number?
A: roll up her sleeve
Q: what's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A: one of them gets out of the chamber
4th reich
Hitler comes back from the dead and gathers people to create a new 4th Reich. "This time, we're going to kill more Jews than ever. We're going to 20 million Jews and 6 Clowns!"

Someone in the crowd spoke up, "6 Clowns? Why 6 clowns?" Hitler looks at the audience and says "see, I told you no one cares about the Jews."
hahahaha1 (jew)
why can't u see a jew donating monnyz
metal jew
What Do You Call A Jew Made Out Of Metal?

jewish cooks
Q:Who is the best Jewish cook
pizza and the jews
What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

A pizza doesn't scream when you put it into the oven.
jew jokes1
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew

Only one comes back from camp
jews on an applefarm
What do you call jews on an apple farm?

apple jews
Q: Why do Jewish men have to be circumcised? A: Because a Jewish women wont touch anything unless it's 20% off
crucifixion and circumcision
Q. What is the difference between a crucifixion and a circumcision? A. In a crucifixion, they throw out the whole Jew.
long jew
What happens if a Jew with an erection walks face first into a wall? He breaks his nose.
jewish dilemma
Definition of a jewish dilemma?

Free ham!
jew joke
What do you call a Jewish person floating in the sky?

Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza?

Pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven.
What's the difference between Karate and Judo? One is used for self defense, the other is used to make bagels!
loan from jew father
Jewish Kid: Hey dad can I borrow 40 bucks?

Jewish Dad: 30 Bucks?!?! Whaddya need 20 Bucks for?!?!?
jew jokes
Why did hitler commit suicide?

He saw the gas bill
jew joke
What's the Jew doing on the swing?

Teasing the sniper
copper wire
How was copper invented?

Two Jews fighting over a penny.
how to get jewish girls number
Q:How do you get jewish girls number?

A:Look under their arm
vending machine
What's the difference between a Jew and a vending machine?

Vending machines give you your change back.
full train
How do you get 6000 jews out of a train?

You stop at auswich.
Did you know that jews blow candles on there birthday but they dont buy them they go to church to blow them
reverse time
How to tell if the time is geting reversed ? Look out of the window and if you see a jew putting a coin on the ground then your correct
hank hill
What's the same about jews and Hank Hill. They both like gas.
How do you call a falling star?

A jew!!
jews in a car
How do you get 100 Jews in a car 5 in the back 3 in the front and the rest in the ashtray.

How do you get them out? Tell them Hitlers driving.
Why did hitler kill himself?
Because he saw his gas bill
jews fishing
How do jews fish? With an empty hook.
jewish jokes
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday? A G.I. Jew and an easy bake oven!
favorite day
What’s a Nazis favorite day? Ash Wednesday!
jewish joke
Whats the Diffrence between a Jew & A Pizza. The Pizza doesn’t Scream.
black jew
Why is it bad to be a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven!
jewish homosexual
What language does a Jewish homo speak? Heblew What’s faster than a speeding bullet? A jew with a coupon.
safety in numbers
‘There is safety in numbers’ Unless there are 6,000,000 of you. And you are all Jews.
jewish synagogues
Why are Jewish synagogues round? So they cant hide in the corner when the collection box comes round!
jewish santa
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? He came down the chimney and said “Do you want to buy some presents kiddies?”
boy scouts and jews
What’s the difference between boy scouts and Jews? Boy scouts come back from their camps.
jewish finance
I just went to a Jewish furniture store as they were offering 0% finance for upto 10 years! “That’s great!” I said as I signed the contract. “When will it be delivered?” “When you’ve paid the balance” he smiled.
just making sure
I used to work for a Jewish carpenter. He used to check my fingers for splinters to make sure I wasn’t stealing.
free speech
There wouldn’t be any Jews in America if they hadn’t heard about the right of free speech.
it was funny at first
I went to a fancy dress party the other day dressed as Adolf Hitler. Everyone thought it was hilarious. Until they found three dead Jews in the shower.
jewish cannibals
Why don’t Jews eat pork? Jews may be a lot of things but cannibals they are not!
its deep too
Two Jews were sitting on a pier passing the time of day. The first Jew puts his feet in the water and cries, “It’s cold, it’s cold!” The second Jew puts his nose in and screams, “It’s fucking deep too!”
history channel
Hitler may have killed 6 million Jews, but he sure as fucking hell saved the History channel.
tight cunts
Why do pregnant Jews always go for Cesarian section? Because they`re tight cunts.
jewish insurance fraud
Two Jewish businessmen were discussing insurance. “You need fire insurance, burglary insurance and flood insurance.” “The fire and theft and burglary I can understand,” said the other, “but the flood insurance? How do you start a flood?”
shipping and handling
I can’t believe the judge said I was a particularly ruthless kidnapper and a disgrace to the Jewish community. All because I added shipping and handling charges to the ransom note.
gas bill
Why did Hitler kill himself? The Jews sent him a gas bill!
jewish catch 22
Have you heard of the Jewish “Catch 22″? Free Ham!
jew and pizza
What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas don’t scream when they are put in the oven!
catholic wife and jewish wife
What’s the difference between a catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery!
jew and canoe
What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips!
santa claus and jew
What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a Jew? Santa Claus goes down the chimney.
jewish number
I asked a jewish girl for her number. She rolled up her sleeve.
jewish big nose
Why do Jews have such big noses? Because air is free!
karate and judo
What’s the difference between karate and judo? Karate is a method of self defence and judo is what bagels are made of!
jewish dinner
What do Jewish women make for dinner? Reservations!
he had a hat
One day a Jewish grandmother had taken her grandson to the beach for a play when suddenly a huge wave washed over the infant and pulled him out to sea. The distraught grandmother fell down on her knees, and sobbed, “Please God, don’t let my grandson die, please, he is my only grandson! He is the future of my family, please return him to me safely!” Instantly another huge wave rolls the infant back onto the beach and the grandmother looks up to the sky and said, “He had a hat!”
its a sale
How do you know when your on a Jewish golf course? The players don’t yell ‘FORE’ they yell ‘$3.99!’
jewish clown car
How do you get 100 jews into a car? Throw a quarter in it. How do you get them out again? Tell them Hilter is driving.
More funny racist jokes coming!