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mexican jokes

mexican house
A man is walking down the street in Mexico and he steps on a tissue, a Mexican jumps around a corner and yells "pls señor no shoes in the house"

(The tissue is his house)
what do you call a mexican without a car
What do you call a mexican without a car? Carlos
the chicken
Why did the chicken cross the road?

The chicken was from mexico and the other side of the road was the USA
green pink and yellow
A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senor, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use three english words in a sentence. The three words are 'green,' 'pink,' and 'yellow.'" The Mexican man thinks , then says, "Hmmm, okay. The phone, it went green, green, green. I pink it up and sez yellow?"
A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" The Mexican orders a shot, takes it, and slams his glass down, yelling, "SPIT!" The cowboy looks over at him and notices the Mexican guy is still staring at him. The cowboy once again orders a shot, slams it down, and yells again "TGIF!" Once again, the Mexican orders a shot, slams it down after consuming it, and yells out, "SPIT!" This goes on for a while, and the bartender stands puzzled and annoyed. Finally, the bartender asks the cowboy, "Just checking, but do you know what TGIF means?" and the cowboy replies, "Hell ya I know what it means, 'Thank God It's Friday!'" The bartender asks the Mexican guy, "Okay, so what does 'SPIT' mean?" and the Mexican replies, "Stupid Pendejo It's Thursday!"
por quhhhhyyyyy
Black jokes and Mexican jokes are about the same. Once you heard Juan , you heard Jamal
chicken crossing.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his friend said BEN PACA!!!!
mexican olympic team
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everyone who can run, swim, or jump is already in America.
mexican baptism
what do you call a mexican getting baptised?

mexican jesus
A new scientific study reveals that Jesus was actually a Mexican:
- he was born in a barn
- he walked around always wearing flip-flops
- if he ever did anything, it was a miracle
mexican uno
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? They steal all the green cards.
the drunk mexican
I was bartending in Vegas and this drunk mexican asks me for a shot of tequila and a beer. He was hurting so bad with a hangover..he then asks me for another. I said "You got money? He told me no, but he is hurting so bad that he will do anything for another round.... I looked at him and told him..if you could use these three colors in a sentence, I'll buy you a round...Green Pink and Yellow. The drunk mexican looks at me, thinks for a second, and tells me.."I got it senor, I got it...The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and I said Yellow?" I bought him a round...
we have so many
An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.
fruit of choice
Two Americans and a Mexican are exploring in Africa and they stumble upon a tribe. The chief of the tribe tells the explorers that they are going to get fruit shoved up their butts and if they laugh they are going to get killed. Luckly, the Chief tells them they get to pick their own fruit. The two whittes pick berries and the Chief shoves it up their butts. They both laugh their heads off. In heaven God asks them why they laughed. And the Americans reply, "The Mexican picked a watermelon."
the white mexican
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face. He says, "Mom, look - I'm a white boy!" His mom slaps him in the face and says, "Go show your father." He goes to his dad in the living room and says, "Look Dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says, "Go show your grandmother." The boy goes into his grandmother's room and say, "Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy." His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says, "See, did you learn anything from that?" To which the boy replies, "Sure did! I have only been white for five minutes and I already hate you Mexicans!"
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."
the alamo
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at least one of you can survive" The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers "God Save The Queen" and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers "Viva La France" and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers "Remember the Alamo" and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.
uno dos tres
Why don't mexicans cross the border in 3's?

Because it says no trespassing
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with a Jew?

Burned beans
What do u call a Mexican who lost his car

Why should you never play Uno with a Mexican? They take all the green cards.
german mexican
hat do you get when you cross a Mexican and a German?
A Beaner-Schnitzel
prison break
A bunch of Mexicans are running down a hill, what is going on?
A Prison Break.
m street
What can a mexican do that a white man cant ? clean street.....
cross border
Whad did the Mexican say to the oder mexican ? Wnat to go cross border
latina hot
A white guy married a hot latin chick, and ever since they're all she wants all the time is s*x, more and more s*x.
At some point the guy goes to his friend to ask what to do, the friend says "Tell her from now on if you want some you gonna pay.
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
The guy comes home and takes of his shirt, his wife jumps on him and he tells her "Hey! from now on you want some you pay for it!
on the floor:10 buck.
in the kitchen: 20 bucks
in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
So the girl says "O.K. Here's 30 bucks", the guy says "In the bedroom?" the girls says "No! 3 times on the floor!"
white mexican black joke
Q:what do u call a load of white people running down a hill
Q:what do u call a load of Mexicans running down a hill
A:mud slide
Q:what do u call a load of black people running down a hill
A: prison break
road crossing
Why did the Mexican cross the road? To catch the chicken.
mexican joke
What is the most famous sport in Mexico? Cross Country.
Q:what do u call a Mexican riding a lawnmower A:promoted Q:what is the first thing that hits the wall on a Mexican A: his lawnmower So a Mexican says I’m gonna 5 star u, my answer Was u can’t even afford a five star
unemployed mexican
What do you call a Mexican with a broken lawn mower? Unemployed.
mexican entry
How does a Mexican get into an honest business? Through the window.
mexicans job
How many Americans’ does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only Mexicans do that kind of job.
mexicans papers
What do books have that Mexicans don’t? Papers.
get out
A Mexican, an Irishman, and a black guy walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get the fuck out of here!”
mexican olympic
Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim has already crossed the border!
cross country
Whats a Mexicans favourite sport? Cross Country.
jesus and mexicans
What’s the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn’t have Mexicans tattooed all over him.
not quite an essay
What do you call a little Mexican? A paragraph. Because he’s not quite an essay.
a texan
What do you call a Mexican who can swim? A Texan.
juan on juan
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball against each other? Juan on Juan. There was a 4 car crash in Mexico today. 243 people died.
More funny racist jokes coming!